Resolve Conflict - Reflections on How Adults Use This EFF Skill

"Conflict has an emotional cost that remains after the battle is over. Win or lose, the scars may be with you for the rest of your life. People spend their lives focusing on the promotion they 'lost,' the business they 'lost,' the divorce they 'lost,' the project they 'lost.' This tunnel vision keeps them gripped, locked in their own anger... The small battles between partners, parents and children, employees and bosses take a significant toll.
     Productivity and satisfaction, in business and personal relationships, come from our ability to collaborate with others. When you are resolved, you can fully focus on the tasks at hand. Your efforts are undiluted. Unresolved conflict, on the other hand, is an impediment to productivity and to satisfying, functional relationships. In today's world of 'knowledge work,' focus and creativity are essential. It's impossible to be fully productive when you are angry. That's why getting resolved about the situation that's sapping your strength and attention is very important."¹²
-Stewart Levine

Insights From Field Research:
Using the Standard to Guide Teaching and Learning

Michelle Thibaudeau-Johnson
Sumner Adult Education, East Sullivan, ME
ABE Level 2; One-on-one tutoring, series of lessons.
Teacher data from the second round of field review, conducted 1998-1999.
(Adapted from Equipped for the Future Content Standards, p. 44.)

Describe what took place during the learning experience.
This is the first series of lessons in which I had a student review the family learning plan to identify her actual interests. From there we collaborated about what generative skills she would need to be able to meet those interests. When she prioritized them Resolve Conflict and Negotiate was first. I had her read the Standard and asked her if she felt comfortable with it and understood it. She was clear on the first and second components of the Standard, but not on 3, 4, and 5. I thought it was interesting that her understanding seemed limited to the components she could already do and that her comprehension broke down at #3, the component she has yet to learn.

How was learner performance different or similar to what you anticipated in planning for the activity?
I didn't expect that the student's life situations would so easily determine what generative skill we should be working on. It was absolutely clear that skills related to resolving conflict would be necessary, not only to deal with the current conflicts but to in fact meet her goals related to setting priorities. Setting priorities and balancing one's own role is more often than not about dealing with conflicts. The learner's performance worked out pretty much as I had anticipated it would. She stated the conflict, i.e., her daughter keeps turning on the television during nap time and that is unacceptable to the learner, identified who wanted what (daughter doesn't want to take a nap; learner wants daughter to take a nap) and why (daughter doesn't think she needs or wants a nap because she is too old; learner thinks daughter needs a nap to help her be in a better mood when her brother comes home after school) but then needed guidance to move beyond that point.

What evidence of student progress did you see and how did you document it?
The student actually wrote out the verbal information she provided during our discussion. By writing it out her thinking became clearer...the writing seemed to guide her through a step-by-step process of moving through the conflict. New to her was the idea of determining minimum expectations/ requirements/behavior she would accept from the other party. We had a discussion and she determined the least she would accept was for her daughter to lay down quietly and at least rest. After discussing how that "could" look, she went on to list options for dealing with the child if she was uncooperative with the minimum expectations.

How did the process of defining evidence and collecting this evidence work for you? How did it require new or different methods of thinking and observation from you and your learner(s)?
As the learner and I reviewed the components of performance and types of evidence information, I think she was challenged to think in a more evaluative manner than usual. She read and questioned what it meant because it was actually related to something that she would be doing. I did enjoy working with the student in this way. It felt like more of a team effort in learning.

Did using the components in planning and assessing learning change the process of planning, teaching, and evaluation? How?
It brought my student to a different level than usual. I think somehow it allowed her to feel a sense of confidence and self-belief that I sought her input in planning our time together. I realized that the forms I made can actually work for planning and documentation.